Friday, May 29, 2015

Origins, Ideas and Inspiration

This post is not so much a gripe as it is a bit more constructive, though I don't take back what I've said about being abused and stalked. Its a harrowing experience and one that I shall never back down from but not just for myself but for its innocent victims.

Yesterday morning I purchased a project kit (something like a raspberry pi) which met my design requirements and very limited budget. It was advertised as a wearable computer which is something a friend of mine that I had worked with in the past had spoken of.

I have no intentions of building a wearable computer at all and as a matter of fact, the device I chose to work with was actually a bit too big for what I have in mind, but it's a great device and it seems to have a great variety of features and information to draw upon. So I have no intention of building a wearable computer, or for that matter stealing anyone else's ideas even if they were a part of Dick Tracy comics more than 80 years ago and part of his wrist band communicator back then.

But if you did want to build a wearable computer, or a HMD (Hat Mounted Display) Workstation (the computer on top of the beak of your baseball cap while a mini lcd that flips down from underneath the beak with camera based gesture control system like Microsoft Kinect), or the micro brain module for a giant robot, or the software and algorithmic systems of a biomagnetic diagnostic device similar to a medical tricorder from Star Trek using a phased array of small magnetic field detectors attached to the device and breaking down the output for analysis by frequency spectrum (Fourier or Fast Fourier) and then apply a heuristic algorithm to recognize patterns that represent anomalies that coincide with common health issues, or even evaluate different clothing wearable solar charging capabilities to power or charge such a device with the sun when you're out for a stroll (for a few ideas off the top of my head), you might want to check out the ODroid.

Keep in mind that you'll be getting your hands dirty in programming code (I haven't seen mine yet but I'm thinking whatever is available that I work in for the installed O/S which is either Linux or Android) and maybe a bit of solder. I like coding, but I'm still a bit wry in the improvised electronics department. They're still usable though without the need for tinkering so that's always an option too.

So check out the ODroid if you're the mad or happy inventor type (or both like me). Then you might want to order from ameriDroid like I did (I'm sure they'd love the business though its a high demand area right now with great potential).

They'll ship it to you good and quick and in no time, you'll be building that giant robot, or a micro-controller for a fleet of ten thousand flocking algorithm based aerial drones to wreak havok on your enemies.

Hwaaa haa haa haa haa. <rubs hands together>.

...for ten minutes until the batteries run out and then you have ten thousand dead flocking drones fall from the sky at once. Still working on overcoming that hurdle.

Personally I'd want to use such a system of flocking drones for search and rescue operations. My love interest where ever she is right now made me say that part.

Highly recommended if you're a tinkerer or aspiring tinkerer like myself.

None of my ideas, including A Lady's Prerogative or The Butterfly Dragon come from others. Some coming to life were inspired by others and there's a very big difference. A Lady's Prerogative started with a tale I wrote in my pre-teens about a Witch who used her powers for good and formed a group of like minded Women with such powers to do good. For the show Charmed, A Lady's Prerogative served as a tip of my hat to the creative people who came up with the show, neither is really similar beyond the fact that they both put Women at the forefront and as the central heroes of the idea. Its an inspiration. Just like Joss Whedon's adaption of Buffy The Vampire Slayer for television and all of the shows it spawned or just about any James Cameron movie where the Women are central figures and the driving force to the plot (though I still think that Tia Carrere's character in True Lies should have had a redemption scene and switched sides but that's another matter). Big influences in my life, but not the source of my material but rather partly the inspiration for it.

The Butterfly Dragon's first story where the field appeared was when I was around 13, and wrote a story about Weltherwithsp's field and about what happened when someone left some trash in it (ie someone dropped a can). My parents even read that story too. No Weltherwithsp in it yet, but that was part of the plan (although his name had not been thought up at that point, but there was a dragon that lived there mostly because one of my favourite tales when I was a child was Puff The Magic Dragon which my Mother used to sing for me with her guitar). The Chinese influence in the story is and Heylyn's character (whose real name in the story is actually Ai Yuanlin Ying) is a composite of some very influential Women in my life, including two who were girlfriends, both of whom were from the Far East. Norler is a bit of my dad, and a bit of some other guys that I've looked up to and very much respected for their world view and attitude. What they did with their influence no matter where it came from (even the friend who came up with the wrist wearable computer idea is in the character for drive and fairness in business). When I was growing up, I knew a girl that was a bit heavier that was very pretty and she ended up with a good looking boyfriend. She wanted to be a lab researcher (for real and I mean that). So Alicia was inspired by her, and a character who represented beauty on many levels by her intelligence and virtue though she might have lost out had she not found a friend like Heylyn who helped her to get over her lack of confidence and poor self image. This is the power of the Butterfly. Beauty and artistry are not just about vanity and selfishness at all. That's what the whole children's story of the Butterfly Dragon is really about. The idea that those who people might see as being the most frivolous and unneeded might be the ones who in the end save you.

The story is published at The Field, The Butterflies And The Dragon, a children's story that I wrote to accompany the story The Butterfly Dragon: Heroes Of Our Own and to represent the story that Heylyn's Mother and Grandmother told her as a child. As a child, Heylyn got it right away and when she was older, she used her artistry and talent to help Alicia overcome her poor self image and her fears.

Here is the children's tale in full:

The Field, The Butterflies And The Dragon by Heylyn Yates (as told to her by her Grandmother and her Mother when she was a child)

Dedicated to Universal Children's Day

The Field...

This tale is about a large field where many creatures lived

and to the things that lived there the field was their entire world.

All of the creatures that lived there lived there in harmony,
and some were more dangerous than others.

They still managed to live together peacefully.


There were the creepy crawly ants with their long antennas.

There were the slimy worms with rings around their bodies.

There were the buzzing hornets with their sharp stingers.

There were the slithering snakes with their tough scales.

There were the squeaking mice with their sensitive whiskers.

There were the soaring birds with their plumage of feathers.

And there were the butterflies with their grace, beauty and artistry.


They had no enemies and the field would provide all of the food that they needed to grow up and have children, starting the whole cycle over again.

It was very peaceful there until one day the animal collectors happened upon this field.

A very vile group of animal collectors whose cruelty was without equal would collect the most beautiful specimens of each of the creatures and keep them trapped inside of a jar while they tormented them.

These cruel animal collectors would show up and claim one of the most beautiful of each of the creatures from the field young and old alike every time, taking them away never to be seen again where they were kept in a jar while they were tormented and exploited for the benefit of the animal collectors.


The creatures had a meeting and every one of them that lived in the field showed up.

The creatures tried to figure out what they were going to do about these cruel animal collectors.

The mice said: The snakes can bite them.
The snakes replied: They're too big. They will throw us and stomp on us.

The worms said: The birds can eat them.

To which the birds replied: They're too big. They will hunt us down and capture us too.

The ants said: The hornets can sting them.

To which the hornets said: They're too big. They will smack us with their hand and we'd have to say "bye bye".

The birds said: The mice can scare them.

The mice replied: They're too big. They'll just jump on us and squash us flat.


Then the butterflies said: We can stop them.

To which the rest of the creatures laughed asking them:

What ever can a butterfly do?

All you have is grace, beauty and artistry?

The butterflies left the meeting feeling worthless and like they could not help because they could not do anything but be graceful, beautiful, artistic and vain while all the other creatures could at least do something.


...The Butterflies...

One night the butterflies got together and decided to make a cocoon.


When they made it they included an antenna from the ants,

a whisker from the mice, a feather from the birds,

a stinger from the hornets, the ring from one of the worms,

and the scale from one of the snakes, and a pair of their wings.


Then they left it to grow and grow it did.

One day the cruel animal collectors returned to the field to collect one of each of the rest of the creatures.

Each of the creatures was put in the jar as the next one was collected.

When the animal collectors went to take a butterfly the already humongous cocoon opened.



...And The Dragon...

Out came a ferocious Dragon.

The Dragon had the wings of a butterfly so it was beautiful.

It's butterfly's wings had the feathers of a bird so it could fly.

It had the scales of a snake so its skin was tough.

It had the antennas of an ant so it could read minds.

It had the whiskers of a mouse, so it could sense danger from afar.

It had the rings of a worm, so it could heal very quickly,

And It had the stinger of a hornet so it was deadly.

The Dragon said to the cruel animal collectors:

You've taken one each of the creatures of the field.

You may keep each one but for a price.

For the mouse, I will take your left leg.

For the worm, I will take your right leg.

For the ant I will take your left arm.

For the bird I will take your right arm.

For the snake I will take your neck

and for the butterfly I will take your head.

The animal collectors dropped all of the creatures they'd collected that day and tried to run before they were stopped again by the Dragon.


The Dragon spoke:

For all of the creatures that you've already taken I will take your lives.

The animal collectors cried:

No, no! We shall return them at once.


The animal collectors returned a short time later with all of the creatures they'd collected and set them free though the creatures had been tormented to no end and were emotionally frail and distraught.


The Dragon then asked the returned creatures whether the animal collectors should be allowed to go free or to pay the price to which the creatures replied...


After the creatures had made their decision the creatures of the field never laughed at the butterflies from that day forth and they lived happily ever more.

The End

So that story is really only a piece of the whole and it is not taken from anything else that I've seen or read by someone else. It is inspired by the people that have made a difference in the lives of others that few seem to recognize but I think that is changing.

The ideas are drawn from inspiration, not someone else's control. There's a big difference. Control is the usurping of someone's freewill by whatever means to bend them or twist them into saying or doing something that they might not say or do otherwise. Inspiration is the choice of an individual to acknowledge and represent those who've set examples before them that have affected their life for the better. Control over another is the antithesis of freewill while inspiration is the manifestation of freewill with regard to others.

While control might be fun role play to some in the bedroom (me included), in real life situations using any abusive means, abusive emotionally, abusive physically or abusive biomagnetism to do so and especially against the freewill and consent of a victim is just plain wrong just as reversing the definition of words to their opposites to get away it is. Once again like a rapist who uses "I thought no meant yes" as a defense for their case. Regardless of whether one is sure or not, one should always stop and talk if their partner is saying "no" or "don't" or "this is making me uncomfortable".

Unfortunately my stalkers and tormentors, the ones I complain about from time to time are not as such at all and freely attempt what they do without mercy. They believe for whatever reason that their essence makes a person do what they do, and they've made it a competition of twisting this effect to their benefit and for their credit. A form of theft and extortion if you will. Even something like this post they'll try to steal as their own for their credit and then dump their day's deeds upon their victim (while of course they parade my deeds as their own). They even use illegal eavesdropping technology for spying on what others do on their computer so they know what there is to steal using their method.

Even the impression of their want to control others via hate, they often try to push onto their victim (myself they do this to often). I would never try to control anyone against their will in real life, but often I get punished for what this cult attempts upon me.

It regularly swaps identities with their victims so that one of their members might seem to be the victim while the victim is the perpetrator! A very devious cult for certain and one whom I will never trust again. Ever. Every time I've relaxed enough to let down my guard, they've done the whole thing over again. Once bitten, twice shy.

So suffice it to say that A Lady's Prerogative, The Butterfly Dragon and The Field, The Butterflies And The Dragon are all my original stories with original characters not taken from any creative property. The superhero characters of The Butterfly Dragon don't have their origins in name or abilities in any other character that I've seen in comic book or video game history. They are inspired by all of those who I've taken time to mention in my inspirations page and many more that can be found on The Butterfly Dragon page.

And by the way, my real life love interest is a Chinese lady and the way I feel about that is something that only I can change and that she has the last word on. This cult has been trying for years since I`ve discovered them, and they've not budged me even once since I've known about them and their schemes both past and present. I am grateful and very fortunate to have been in a relationship five years ago with a Korean lady, my last relationship to date (and I don't sleep around and I am definitely monogamous). I have always been grateful when a lady chooses me and shares her time and her intimacy with myself.

Thank you for reading my books,

Brian Joseph Johns


The story The Field, The Butterflies And The Dragon is a mythical fairy tale written by Brian Joseph Johns for the story "The Butterfly Dragon: Heroes Of Our Own" also by Brian Joseph Johns

Dedicated to children everywhere and released on Universal Children's Day.

For my Mother Rita Johns with love made butterflies her whole life. For my Grandmothers who taught their children to love. For Yi with just the same. For Jan my friend and priceless in a deadline. For Jasmine may you find your peace. For Yaya Han who might be what Heylyn Yates would be like in real life. For Kelly Hu who is as I pictured as Heylyn in look and in character. For Miranda for being a real hero. For Katrina whom I hope achieved her goals and dreams. For Giselle, Hannah, Lillian, Jennifer, Keri, Louise and Lianne lovers and friends alike. For Jake and Carter who helped me to remember what it was like to be a kid again. And to my family thank you.

For Moms and Dads of all nationalities everywhere who care for and nurture their children.

Look after your field and remember that your butterflies might be your saviours some day.

Assumed mythos origins for purposes of the story:
Far East, Norwegian, Scandinavian, Polynesian, Aboriginal North American

Themes: defending grace, beauty, artistry, the vulnerable

Heylyn Yates (Ai Yuanlin Ying) is an assumed name for the purposes of the narrative of the story, The Butterfly Dragon: Heroes Of Our Own.

Copyright © 2014 Brian Joseph Johns





Friday, May 22, 2015

Truckers Are No Schmuckers...

During my pre-career education (trained as a database programmer on a database built around a pascal back end) back around 1986 I used to work part-time and weekends for a furniture moving company.

I came into the company with a lot of assumptions about the nature of the people I'd be working with and despite those assumptions, I found a core of good people who are actually quite amazing.

One of the things that you'll find about trucking, is the fact that none of the drivers are really schmucks. Especially the ones who run their own business, own their own trucks. That being said, most who do are running a serious business that requires their full attention to many details.

You have to be good at geometry for one. Your business and finances depend upon it. If you're running with empty space during a shipment, that's lost money the more distance its empty. So being able to fill all of your space is of utmost importance. Most of that space is measured in cubic feet (or by weight in the United States) where a load is roughly seven pounds per cubic foot on average for common consumer goods and items. Keeping all of this in consideration, accurately knowing the space you have to work with and filling it pin to pin is what its about. Warehouse to warehouse its all on skids, going from other locations though, like residence to residence or residence to warehouse and you've got a whole different matter.

All of it has to be packed safely and soundly within the truck so as to avoid damage (that costs the business as well both the insurance deductible and the insurance rates and business repute). So packing an entire three bedroom house into a 2500 cubic foot truck and then unloading it requires a special talent and touch despite what most people may think. Being able to do such a feat, with three guys, sometimes four if your lucky without damage is another. So usually the driver, and the crew will do better based upon their conception of geometry, their endurance, their ability to be polite and courteousness with the customer.

So truck drivers who run their own fleet, whether its pin to pin doing any kind of goods, or household and consumer items still have to know a great deal about those aspects, and then on top of it the business finances of owning and operating a truck (which is similar to a household mortgage and costs about as much). Then there's the insurance and special licenses one must have to haul certain kinds of goods. Different load technologies and load platforms too require special skills and licences as well. So hauling flammable liquid might require different licenses and insurance than hauling frozen goods might. Then, when the driver has their load, and is on the road, not only do they have to be mindful of their own mistakes, they have to be mindful of those of others as well in order to keep everyone safe. Not quite so simple when the back of your vehicle might be as far as seventy feet away from your driver's seat. Not only that, but the mechanics of steering it when you're backing up are like the mechanics of trying to fly a fighter jet or a spacecraft. You actually encounter similar hurdles if you're not careful such as gimbal lock (in old space and air craft when the instrumentation of old direct drive surfaces of an aircraft were represented by euler angles and when one axis would cross over into the control zone of another axis, locking your control surface and preventing you from steering in either pitch or roll). So despite some age old cliches, when you really think about it, most truckers actually have to be quite on the ball to avoid these caveats. Maybe they do have the right stuff?

Not to mention the fact that when dealing with their load and in the pounds or cubic foot notation, they have to pretty good at math, because once again, empty space in your load means lost money. And that means that your gas and insurance are costing you more (ie their cost is being amortized across the breadth of shipments that you're driving with so more shipments of value means those expenses are absorbed into the cost of the total shipments). These are all consideration when it comes to such things.

When writing software, and especially working in 3D coding (I do work in that paradigm occasionally having written my own antiquated engine and API) there are many concepts that one encounters while dealing with volume problems, similar to those that Sir Roger Penrose used to tackle in his mathematical proof of surface tiling.

So maybe the next time you look at them, you might do so a little differently.

Copyright © 2015 Brian Joseph Johns

PS: I started out at there at 79 East Don Roadway (in Toronto) and then worked several other locations across the city.

[My name is Brian, not Ryan or Jason or Chuck or Sammy or Bobby or Mike or Kane]

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Stories Update...

Stories Update:

The stories from http://poetryandfiction.blogspot.ca have been moved from here to their own respective sites since I last updated them here almost a year ago. I hadn't been managing the site frequently and therefore hadn't notified anyone.




In that time some of the books have been finished and a sequel started (in the case of The Butterfly Dragon). 

Meanwhile in a similar note, A Lady's Prerogative II: Wounded Aerth is finally finished though there might be a second draft edit soon.

A Lady's Prerogative stories are all now located at:
http://talesofthesanctum.blogspot.ca
  • Testament Of Time - [In Progress] 
    A group of strangers awaken in a cramped dungeon, each from a different place and possibly a different time. A couple searches the world for clues to an ancient mystery. A pair of friends two centuries in the past are about to stumble upon that mystery. 

    Now in its own home at 
    http://talesofthescanctum.blogspot.ca Original fiction. In progress. Updated infrequently.
The Butterfly Dragon stories are all now located at:
http://thebutterflydragon.blogspot.ca



  • The Butterfly Dragon I: Heroes Of Our Own - [Finished]
    A beautiful fashion designer and her struggle to match the expectations of her. A long lost friend from high school with a secret that could change everything. A nemesis motivated by power and greed.

    Now in its own home at http://thebutterflydragon.blogspot.ca 
    Original fiction. Finished.


  • The Butterfly Dragon II: Dragon Butterfly - [In Progress]

    Alicia, Heylyn, Monique and Valeria are back in the second tale of The Butterfly Dragon.

    Heylyn Yates adopts a child after she travels to Japan, Korea and China in search of the answers her parents' death and to find the secret of the ancient Oriental children's tale told to Heylyn Yates by her Mother and Grandmother and ultimately her hidden legacy.

    Alicia and Norler have found love in one another and are looking to start a family. If her alter ego, her career and their dedication to their work don't get in the way, then a side effect with the SY formula that resulted in her powers might...

    Meanwhile the heroes find themselves the targets of Mr. Zek's replacement who is even more devious and dangerous, using hidden video, blackmail social media and their secrets to ruin them and their reputations forever.

    A serial killer who selects their victims carefully has been leaving victims scattered throughout the city. One of the girls, her super powers revealed becomes the prime suspect.

    All of these stories collide in Toronto, Canada at Dundas Square where a touring fashion show, Alicia's research and The Butterfly Dragon stand off against an ancient threat to the future of the world itself:

    The Dragon Butterfly.

    Now in its own home at http://thebutterflydragon.blogspot.ca 
    Original fiction. In progress.
  • The Archive - [In Progress] 
    Set in the future where the entire world of organic and inorganic matter takes part in simulation and computation. Enter Hadden, an Archivist who retrieves animal and plant specimens from simulations of our past to replace those missing from the genetic record. He finds himself embroiled in a plot with galactic consequences when he is asked to take part in a real life retrieval with the mysterious woman of his dreams...

    Now in its own home at 
    http://welcometothepleroma.blogspot.ca Original fiction. In progress. Updated frequently.
I am Brian Joseph Johns and this is http://poetryandfiction.blogspot.ca.

On Women, Violation And Losing Something Before You Wanted To Give It Away...

The stories are still very much alive and some of them are finished books! I've been working on a variety of other things as well such as software for windows which I've released and published at http://shhhhdigital.blogspot.ca.

There's a lot more to come.

There's been a lot of nastiness from some people in my neck of the woods who attack in groups, leaving me in quite often less than good spirits and sometimes a bit mean. They are the people who number amongst those attempting to take the stories from me. So I've been a bit verbal in this regard against those people despite my peaceful nature and hopefully they'll get caught. And soon.

When I was a kid in school, I used to have a group of bullies make it a game of trying to make me cry in as little a time as possible. There were a few others too that fell victim to that sort of thing. So when I see something similar happening when I'm 47, I get a bit intolerant with it. PTSD perhaps?

I thought a lot about this from a woman's perspective and how they might feel when they are similarly victimized as part of my research for the latest book in the Butterfly Dragon series. Ask a lady abuse victim how she reacts when she sees the same signs of abuse from another person or how a rape victim reacts when they are treated similarly by another person independent of their rapist. There's even scumbags out there who believe that they can control someone by treating them very abusively in such a way and seek to do so. In fact, rape victims often experience similar treatment from others who seek to find women susceptible to this sort of effect. That's what makes rape and abuse such horrible crimes.

I am not talking about consensual role play where each partner gets their turn "playing" with other their fantasies as loving partners who are empathetic to their partner and respect their wishes for affection or for abstinence. Play between consenting adult lovers (in a serious relationship) can be fun but it I am talking about people who just do it regardless which is really a form of rape whether you are in the same room or through the walls. That means people who verbally stalk and abuse you often as a group and then try to violate you emotionally and bio-magnetically. Emotional gang rape. The same thing that some rape victims have described experiencing long after their physical rapes. Maybe the original rapist imagining experiencing it again with their victim? Maybe their friends?

No wonder a whole generation of women ended up on Prozac in the 1960s and 1970s. Because nobody would listen except their Doctors and the only tools they had to help at that time were pharmaceuticals.

Muffled and distant pain is certainly much better than otherwise.

One of my new stories (The Dragon Butterfly) covers this aspect of victimization from a woman's point of view so experiencing this sort of thing first hand and understanding it through research I am finding it to be a pretty disgusting quality in others that do it to their victims. The perpetrators seek to rape their victim at the most fundamental level. By taking not only the impression of their freedom but also imposing their own identity onto their victims. There are even people around me that believe by empathizing in such a way that someone else is already controlling me. These are members of  a cult that attempt this by the way without your consent. So that makes them rapists for certain.

Nelony, the character from A Lady's Prerogative even experiences a similar violation when after being captured by the ruthless army of the Wytch hunters, she's expected to change her clothes in plain view of the entire encampment. The character as I'd written her had been saving her first time being seen by a man as a sort of a symbol, much like some regard virginity and that was the intended allegory. The Wytch hunters (who are more of a mob or an allegory for those that use their religion to steal others' identities while unloading sins onto their victims) of course have no regard for women or for their values and she ultimately does change in front of them, losing that treasured moment that she'd been saving for the right man to a group of men who had no value of it at all. I had originally written a heart felt talk between her and Yirfir that went something like this:

"My dear, there are things that you hold onto dear like that one that will mean little when you meet him, the man that you love. That's because time for you will begin from that moment on, and choices that you made or had made won't matter as much as your time from that point on. Don't let such a vile group of people take more from you, beyond the time they've already taken, for they deserve not even that. What you feel emotionally is yours and yours to share with that man. There are many mysteries contained in our Librum Universalis Codex and one could spend lifetimes going through all of the pain and injustices that have happened since the beginning of time. Ultimately they may be ours to preserve and know but there are great accomplishments and triumphs that have overshadowed them by far in all of history. Those are what we are protecting really when we preserve the history. The true history. Our lives begin though within that tapestry of turmoil and triumph. What do you choose to remember? The Culdar Rath stirred you and your most vile memories when they sent you that package with the records of death, and Father Wilsen's memoirs. They want to keep fresh the pain of every living creature for they thrive on it. It is their life blood and in that sense they are already dead. Just like the Twins of Lorr. They have never been alive really because they were never independent of one another. Of the Culdar Rath. Their every thought and action was privy to their ranks and those of their leadership. They could never really claim merit to their own deeds and choices if the Culdar Rath lay claim to every single one of them now, could they? That is how we'd all live under their shadow and none would be free to think or be without their knowing, and without their laying claim to what comes from us. Independence is what makes love possible for it is the only real choice there is and if it is already made for you, then it is not love at all. And if it is not love at all, then it is not freedom. So losing that moment to a group such as those is painful and they'll do everything to remind you of it because its blood to them. Your life begins though when you meet, and you choose to love him. What you've been saving for someone is contained therein and can never be taken from you." Yirfir told Nelony trying to console her friend's loss.

And yes. I am quite proud to be able to write dialog from the point of view of a lady. There's nothing wrong with being a guy who can empathize their characters and dialog. It makes you a better person in the end. Unfortunately this malleability too is a sign of one who can be "possessed" or "controlled" to some so if you are empathic in such a way, watch out. There's a whole club of people who are ready to steal from you claiming they "controlled" you into a particular accomplishment.

As I've said in another article, they're the same people who cannot really love anyone because they don't believe that anyone but a select few have a real mind anyway. How can someone such as that love someone else if they regard another human being as a lump of flesh that has no mind, that they can buy a few drinks for so they can masturbate into them? Someone who regards another human being in that regard can't really love someone else. At all. For if they think that what another says and does can only come from a select few, who are the source of all conscious acts, then who do they love when they look at someone else? Themselves? How can that be if they believe that their lover's mind comes from them?

They're usually the same people whose designs it is to dump their activities onto you in the same. Probably how many of them regard women in the first place. As garbage bags?

Another dialog on the subject and of lost love and our values is from the character Sato and from the same book when he tries to talk Barris convince Barris that he should go through with his marriage proposal to Mila:

"I thought you were going to..." he asked Barris.

"I thought I was too. But I did not see that coming and I guess that I didn't want to spoil their moment." Barris replied to his old friend.

"This is both yours and Mila's moment. Your lives. Don't miss it. Don't let it go." he spoke with enthusiasm for his friend.

"I can't just go out there and do it now. I was all worked up for it, ready to go and then... Well. I don't want to take away from their night." Barris responded.

"You're using their announcement as an excuse to chicken out. Chicken. You're a chicken. Bock bock bock..." Sato put his hands under his arms and walked in a circle clucking.

"Don't do that Sato. Please. I don't think that I can recapture the moment again." Barris said, looking down.

"Before I bought the store, I traveled. I have told you many times of my adventures. To each one is bound a treasure, but I have not once told you about the treasure that I had lost. The one treasure that I wish that I had this day and for all the days that have passed to arrive at this day and for the days beyond this day. I was sent to look for a valuable stone." Sato paused to make sure that Barris was coherent.

"Wait. You're telling me that you were sent to look for a stone? Not a vase or a painting or something like that. It was just a stone? You mean like a rock that you'd find on the ground?" Barris asked in amazement that Sato would interrupt one of the most important moments of his life to tell him about stone.

"It was a special stone. A gem of great value. The Eye Of Epicurus. It is rumoured to be unequalled as a healing crystal. Look, just work with me on this would you already?" Sato defended his story seeing Barris' tension about the situation and getting a little impatient himself.

"You're right. I do apologize." Barris said, a little embarrassed.

Sato continued.

"I was there to find this valuable stone, the Eye Of Epicurus that had long been forgotten by the world, but in order to find it, I had to blend in with the local people. While there I met a young lady. I met her during my travels in a village in South East Asia. I went there to live for as long as it would take to find this stone. I stayed for a long time and during that time, I got to know a girl from the town. We became friends and every day we'd meet and spend the day together though I never told her I what I was looking for." Sato shook his head and continued.

"Then one evening we spent our first night together and I thought to myself that I did not want to leave her. Ever. We lived together for a time until one day, a man came to see me with a package. He said: 'this is what you came here seeking' and handed me the package. I took it of course and examined it. It was the stone that I had been looking for. The next day having found it, I told her that I must leave, though in my heart I did not want to but I did anyway, thinking that I had accomplished what I had set out to do. When I left, she wept and though I felt a thousand thorns in my heart, I left anyway." Sato looked down a grimace of pain still visible on his face.

"When I arrived back home I took the stone to the appraiser there who had told me that I could find the treasure there. I brought him the stone telling him I found my treasure. He examined and then told me: 'It's worthless'. It was then that I realized that I had found the real treasure, but I left her for what I was told was a valuable stone." Sato's face held a thin veil concealing an age old heart break.

One last passage from the first book of A Lady's Prerogative on the subject of our how what we might be saving for someone special isn't truly lost even when we thing it's gone:

Barris had one day been minding the shop when some of the hoods from a local hangout had dropped into the shop to pick on Barris, whom they'd heard was working for the uninvited "old man" as they referred to him. Barris had asked them to leave when one of them had dropped and chipped a delicate vase, which had broken Barris' heart as he saw it fall, for it was like seeing a piece of Sato's past dropped carelessly to floor. They had turned to Barris at his challenge of them to put him in his place when Sato arrived. One held Barris by the shoulder against the wall, insulting him and calling him names like they had all throughout school. Barris in his fear had remembered noting how they'd really not changed much at all, before there was a blur of motion and the pressure on his shoulder subsided.

All three were spread out on the floor of the shop but none hurt seriously. They all three of them rose to their feet and quickly left the shop, never to be seen again by Barris or Sato. That was when Sato had told Barris one of the most profound truths of his life.

"You were hurt because the vase broke. But the vase is not you or me. You were hurt because it broke after all of the trouble I went through to get it." Sato paused.

"The vase is only the end of that journey. It is only a thing. The real treasure is in here, in us and cannot be broken, stolen or removed from us in any way. Even if the vase is gone forever, we still have that story." Sato looked at Barris with great compassion and concern.

"But what if we lose us? What if we die?" Barris asked.

"The story is still there as is our effect upon the world." Sato replied.

"Even if you and I are gone and the vase is gone. We have left a path upon the face of everything. That is never gone. Even if everyone denied we were here at all. They too will be gone, but their effect upon everything remains." Sato paused and then continued.

"If you are a boat that passes through the waters of life, you leave a wake in your path and the water that you affect leaves waves that never stop moving, ever. Even the most calm and still waters are moving with the effects of every rain drop that has plucked the surface of that water like the strings of a koto." Sato finished.

"You mean..." Barris paused, looking intensely at Sato.

"Yes, continue." Sato waited patiently.

"We are never gone." Barris replied, a smile of relief crossing his face.

Sato smiled, and continued.

"The vase is the artist's story. Seeking and finding the vase is mine. The artist in making the vase and me in seeking it are each boats that leave their wakes upon the waters of life. Even if the vase is gone, neither the artist that created it nor the lover of that vase is gone, for we have etched our creation into the very face of everything, so be gentle with that brush, for she is very delicate and beautiful. Protect her." Sato stated, his presence and wisdom settling.

"What about us? What do we become when we die?" Barris asked Sato thoughtfully at ease.

"I do not know. That's a good question to ask a philosopher or theologian. I believe that we are eternal, by way of our effect here and beyond. I am here, so I focus on here. If I plan to go somewhere, I make my plans and deal with them when I arrive there unaware of what might change those plans. You may find a different answer when you look for it." Sato replied, the serenity in his voice accented.

From that moment Barris settled into his life in a way that he hadn't since he'd learned to walk, unafraid of being... gone, and more concerned with being. He also recognized Sato and his profound effect upon what was to come ahead.

Finally, my personal tormentors are part of a group who try to break down your audience by tricking you into appearing like you are against various groups out there by harassing you until there's nobody left.

Much like this story from Nazi Germany:

Martin Niemöller (1892–1984) was a prominent outspoken public foe of Adolf Hitler and spent the last seven years of Nazi rule in concentration camps.

Niemöller is perhaps best remembered for the quotation:

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.

Many of the people involved in this activity are like Nazis really but few of them if any are from Germany.

One by one they try to take away different people and groups from your life using illegal eavesdropping technology to do so and leaving only themselves and nobody to stand against their abusive efforts from within the building where I live.

The group doing this though only do so as a means to isolate every possible representation that defines the colour of one's eyes believe it or not.

Mine have green in them amongst other colours, so it is often quite a heated battle.

No polarity reversal here by the way.

What I say is what I mean.

Stay tuned for another post coming up very shortly...

I am Brian Joseph Johns and this is http://poetryandfiction.blogspot.ca.

Thursday, May 7, 2015

It's What You Do With What You Can And Could Do 2...

It's an interesting coincidence between this topic and the up coming Marvel phase 3, which sets the Marvel Universe as seen through the eyes of the film makers in one of the biggest controversies in Marvel history since the Mutant Registration Act in the X-Men comics and movies.

Both story lines address the idea of how a society would handle people who are different, some of which are different in extraordinary ways (we all are) that could make such people a risk to the life, health and liberty of others. The X-Men series by Bryan Singer handled this aspect wonderfully and melded in the allegory or real world issues through super powers being like a metaphor for other human rights issues. It initially brought up the argument that a Governing body (Church or State) does not license the right to live free based upon our differences as people on this planet nor should any entity impose such an idea upon its population. As the Marvel film franchises through the Marvel phase 3 move onto this ground it will be great to see them touch upon the other aspect to this very turbulent and morally difficult road, but it all comes down to a few ideas that Stan Lee already laid out fairly well in comics like Spider-Man and that is the idea that with power comes responsibility and with great power comes great responsibility.

Now let's just consider this for a moment and how this fits into the ideas and conflicts sure to come in the film world and more importantly in the real world that are examined by this issue. What if you had powers or abilities that gave you a means to benefit others or yourself by their use. What if you could predict the future accurately. What if you could read minds? What if you could affect the emotions of other people (without words)? What if you could do things that would make you a possible benefit or a danger to others? What if you could use those abilities to be a succeed in life without others knowing that you could do those things?

If you could accurately predict the future, how could one benefit themselves or the world from that and how could one use it to harm others for their own benefit? Questions like that when considered have real world ramifications and give us an insight to an important area of morality and personal responsibility. This is the world that superheroes live in and must contend with every day in their daily lives whether they are in a fictitious world or in a real one. What they do with their unique abilities is important to the lives of others as by the very use of those abilities, they could possibly infringe upon or protect the liberties of others. What about their liberties?

In what way should a person have limits imposed upon them if they exceed at something in a certain way that makes them able to succeed in its use or fail as a result of scrutiny originating from such use? Hence the Registration Act of the upcoming films and the already visited upon world of the X-Men although I still hold issue that Kelly Hu's character, Lady Deathstrike should have been liberated from her captor and joined her other heroic compatriots in the final battle rather than being felled by Wolverine.

Maybe I'll write (or is it right?) a piece of fan fiction under the What If? moniker that Stan Lee used to cover Marvel's universe to handle such questions. The ironic point in case is that the Mutant Containment program from the second film, depicted a Government contracted agency and program that practiced mind control to manage the mutant threat. A huge breach of one's liberties and freewill in the first place.

If your newly gained powers or the ones that you were born with could cause physical or emotional harm to others bar any action that did not actually bring harm to others by intent, then you'd have a moral dilemma and most likely the terms under which you'd use those abilities. With great power comes great responsibility is the sign post.

The way to know for sure is to know what you do with what you know you can do and what you could do. Therefore the use of any such ability could be deemed just as long as it does not cause damage or disrepute to living beings (whether it be physical, mental or emotional harm resulting from the use of said powers), the environment, property or a person's freedom under the same rights.

Much easier to say than it is to know the ramifications thereof but a starting grounds nonetheless. Now what about people who had such abilities who completely ignored the morality and these ideas to cause harm to others? How would or could this be handled? Secret Police? A surveillance society? A vigilante group? A super powered group of investigators who would or could investigate via their own powers such activities? How do you protect from such things without becoming the problem?

Here's another interesting point. What if your powers were the ability to affect other people's behavior for the worse? Ie you could make them angry, or reactive or even produce a spontaneous anxiety attack in them or a instigate a public outburst from them despite their better character or good will? Using such an ability against the Hulk at an inopportune moment could most certainly be the difference between life and death for many and be chalked up against Dr. (David) Bruce Banner. That would mean that someone could affect how someone else was perceived by the public opinion, perhaps sometimes the harshest of judges (besides oneself). Such a power would definitely fall under the category of causing damage to another person by way of taking their freewill and producing behavior in them that resulted in public scorn, and hence harm that affected their ability to sustain themselves with the same freedoms that others had in such a society.

What if such a power was used against the elected leader of a country in response to the support of an issue that was not agreed with by those who possessed such a power to manipulate not one's mind but their emotional behavior and reactions? Whose democracy is it anyway? By its very definition that question is one that should only have one answer. Everyone's. Its not the democracy of those who had an ability to affect such behavior in people to influence public perception about others with regard to an issue. It belongs to everyone.

Such a power could be used to persuade the public against members of office who supported issues that weren't supported by those who possessed such a power (like human rights issues based upon the foundations of human rights organizations world wide). If someone supported issues that were disagreed with by those with such powers, they could literally produce behavior in their victim that would lead to their own public self destruction or provide the contrast to push the someone else up in the eyes of the public.

So the reality of this issue is a very complex one that needs to be discussed as we enter into the age of genetic manipulation for the purposes of healing and might be a little more pertinent to real life than some would think. Manipulation of someone else's emotional behavior and mental state is a dangerous thing that infringes upon the liberty of others and affects the future of those who such a power would be used upon.

Perhaps there are people out there who have powers of their own and are aware of these issues who fight against such abuse in their own way for the protection of others in addition to the everyday heroes that protect us from crime, fire and medical problems.

It should be interesting to see how this issue is handled by the upcoming Marvel and DC Universe films as both throughout comic book history have looked into this aspect of being. I can't wait to see what their take on it is. I still haven't seen the new Avengers movie so I'm still dodging spoilers.

Remember.

Its not what you do. 

Its what you do with what you could do and know you could do.

Brian Joseph Johns

Saturday, May 2, 2015

Its What You Do With What You Could Do

Yet once again, another night of abuse by the local cult within the building that I live. This is part of a cult that believe they can control other people via their biomagnetism (which they call blood). The whole thing is an illusion that they convince other people of. The truth of their illusion is that the cult members have practiced ramping up production of cortisol and adrenaline in their own bodies, and then are able to stimulate production of those hormones in the bodies of their victims and get a reaction from them. The cult believes that this constitutes control over their victim. They often apply it to or from membership of Prince Hall (though not all schools of the ideology constitute using control or abuse such as that such as the India brand of Prince Hall, where it was originated). More so it is probably related to those who choose to represent it responsibly rather than weaponizing it to do harm or steal from others their accomplishments. I have a feeling that this activity is more of an attack on our icons than it is anything.

The cult locally use abusive biomagnetism as a form of control and manipulation not just of their victim, but of those they convince that they have some kind of control over their victim. The only aspect of their victim's life they can affect is how pronounced their reaction is to the systematic abuse conducted by the cult.

The cult make it a game of trying to determine who has "control" or more "influence" over their victim by such means, but those means do not distinguish between the fact that the effects upon two completely different victims should be exactly the same, as should be their response. The truth is that for the cult and its victims this does not happen at all. Often when the cult get a reaction from me, I focus my reaction in a direction for good, ie something that is really a travesty so that the reaction doesn't cause undue harm to others or myself (to my repute).

The cult use it precisely as that sort of thing and convince others their victim is more under their influence than others they've known longer. There's a lot more to it than this, and I shall make that information available as time goes on.

Much of what the cult does in this way is geared towards causing their victims to react, especially in remembering the prior ways the cult affected their victim`s lives negatively. The cult often plays this as a means to get a hateful reaction from their victim so they can make it a game of convincing others that hate means love and love means hate (usually a definition for the colour blue).

What this cult do in this sense is exactly what they did to Rob Ford by the way (whom did not deserve such abuse). They do similar to myself except that I've never used crack cocaine in my life and I don't use, buy or sell narcotics at all. I don`t ever smoke. So the cult use this sort of thing to convince others they are controlling me into writing the stories that I write as they are thieves of what other people say and do. Nothing more. That is the prime reason for their illegal use of eavesdropping technology against the victim, an important aspect of this illusion and their theft game.

Often the cult that do this are purists in terms of "blood", meaning that they believe that those who have more than one heritage are lesser than others and that they must pay for the blood of those who are "pure" or "true". The cult actually use this abusive biomagnetism as a conversion method to this way of thinking by affecting their victims negatively, then having someone whom they deemed is of a pure culture "cure" their victim of the anxiety resulting from the abusive biomagnetism the cult has applied to the body of their victim. The way it all works is that the cult have learned to stimulate the production of cortisol and adrenaline in the body of their victims and therefore make them much more prone to reaction or anxiety attacks. The cult also have a group of these "pure" people that have learned to use a healing form of biomagnetism that stimulates the production of dopamine and serotonin in the body of their victims. Those hormones nullify the effects of cortisol and adrenaline and relieve stress and anxiety and the cult lay claim to this as proof of the purity or trueness of the blood of these people. If the victims do not conform to this idea, they are subject to the abusive biomagnetism until they are convinced to accept this idea and the accompanying religion that is founded on it. If you stand against it, you are sold as a racist. Really it is nothing more than a scam to idolize a specific group of cultures as gods and to subvert another group of people as being of lesser stock. Especially those who have more than one heritage to their lineage. The cult actually make such people pay for their blood by giving up their good efforts, or by making them carry the burden of their bad ones.

The cult actually believe that people of too many cultures or heritages should be limited in their procreation and in order to set up such situations to limit that possibility, they stoop to some pretty meagre levels to do so. Constant harassment is one way they achieve this so far that I've seen. The cult around me often do so after I've produced a few chapters or worked on something they can attempt to steal the credit for, making it the ante in one of their games as such.

My revelation of this does not stand in the way of the idea of a good lineage or heritage or being proud of one's ancestry. The cult confuses the term blood paid to mean a price they can charge others for their superior heritage. The term blood paid means that in terms of the laying claim to your heritage in terms of the accomplishments of your ancestry, "earn it". So let your efforts and accomplishments how ever meagre be an example of that rather than riding the coat tails of those who've already earned the same of their ancestry. There is credence to the saying: we're standing on the shoulders of giants. So "blood paid" doesn't give one the right to charge a price for theirs, whether by stealing someone else's efforts to pay for it or making someone else carry the weight of your social burden for you. It means that if you honored your family and friends and peers by your words and/or actions that represents and recognizes their accomplishments and adds to them, then you've "earned it".

The people that are truly god-like are people who realize that its not just what you do that makes you good. Its what you do and don't do with what you could do and know you could do despite how you've been treated. One who has the ability to do great good by way of their talents in biology or medicine also has the ability to do great harm in producing poison. A great chemist can design pharmacological agents that might help treat or cure a person of a disease, or they might use that ability to manufacture a home made bomb to destroy the lives of innocent civilians.

People who learn how to use biomagnetism (called Qi, Chi and Prana in some cultures) could use it to convince others of their superiority (as mentioned in the scam above) as its effects would almost seem like magic, so that others bow down to them as false idols, or they could use it to diagnose people and in some cases cure illness (as is the case in India, China, Japan, Korea, Vietnam, Thailand and Taiwan as for those cultures it has been the foundation to their forms of Eastern medicine for nearly 6000 years). Never once in my experiences has any of them tried to convince me of their stature or status as a god or to be revered by their ability to use Prana, Qi or Chi to stimulate the production of healthy hormones. Moreso, those cultures hold such abilities in high esteem and utilize them as part of what we'd regard as the Hypocratic Oath in regard to using such abilities to do no harm. I've been in a serious relationship with at least two persons whose heritage is tied to those methods of healing and whose families are very much a part of that means of doing so. I've never once experienced any sort of abusive behavior from that community or their cultures or either of them insofar as I've experienced compassion from them.

I am most fortunate to have the memories of the ones that I love in such relationships because if I didn't, I'd truly have nothing at all and be completely alone. As long as I have my memories of my time with them (and with her), I'll never be without. That is what keeps me going. The hope that the same thing might happen again in the future and until that time and whether or not, I've got the memories of having experienced great love to keep me company. I've gone five years without affection, physical or otherwise or sexuality with a partner of any kind as I'd not cheapen it to share it with anyone less than I intend to be committed to entirely and rightfully expect the same. That's where Ai Yuanlin Ying (Heylyn Yates, of The Butterfly Dragon) and myself are as one.

Its not just what you do that makes you good (or even god-like or a super hero). Its what you do and don't do with what you could do and know you could do despite how you've been treated.

I was abused by the local cult that does what I mentioned above near the top for the last few days (including all night last night), and today I had a bit more time to clear myself before I wrote a post so naturally its going to be a bit less frantic and manic.

The cult also believes that they can control or influence who they fill up with their hate and verbal spew. So often just after I post something or any time for that matter, they as a group (especially those into crack cocaine) verbally try to fill me with as much of their nonsense as possible. They believe that by doing so that they actually have control or influence over their victim (because to them hate and this verbal nonsense means blood and blood is what contains all of their bad deeds). So it really is a cult. They often go in groups around the clock with such effort.

As I've said, they believe that what someone else says or does is the result of this influence but I beg to differ. For the 30 years prior to ten years ago in this area, there were a large group of women that used to sell themselves sexually for pocket change so they could buy crack cocaine. I wasn't living here at that time in this area and didn't move here until about ten years ago. During that time most of the people involved in the harassment now were living here during that period of time and yet they claim their blood and influence results in the good of others around them. Yet for all that time, they let a group of women sell themselves sexually for pocket change to fund an addiction to crack cocaine.

The cult measure their influence by what you favour. I've always held my loyalty to the cultures of the Far East and have since falling for a lady from that part of the world, held my ground in this stance against the negative influence of this cult. The cult have no positive influence at all and are just a group of malevolent and abusive miscreants unfortunately. Their affect on others is usually related to tricking another person's body into producing cortisol and adrenaline and getting an anxiety attack from them. Not a legacy to be proud of and certain not a means to pay for the accomplishments of one's ancestry as I'm sure they'd be rolling in their graves at such nonsense.

One other aspect to how their cult operates is to attempt to steal whatever it is I do on the computer, or create the misconception that what I am doing is coming from someone else in a different apartment in the building that I live. So in other words, what I do goes to someone else's credit (usually to pay for their blood) and what they do I get the blame for (again to pay for their blood) despite me not being a part of any such religion or ideology in the first place.

Again, much of this is also related to the fact that this cult wants to hide the fact that my love interest is an Oriental lady while I am a Caucasian male.

The people in the building that are part of this ruse literally freak out when I turn my web camera on and point it at my screen (hence indicating which computer is mine by the look of its desktop). Many of the people involved are trying to dump their activities (especially those related to crack cocaine or their sexual partners) while I don't use any narcotics whatsoever and definitely am monogamous when it comes to my sexuality. I have to have a relationship or the intent thereof before I'll sleep with a partner. So for this cult it appears to be about painting the impression that I hang out with the local crack cocaine users (which I don't but if you can quit such a habit and move on, then good for you). They also seem to want to give the impression that I am in a relationship with a specific member of their cult (which I am not). My love interest is Oriental and I'll stand by that right through to the end and fight to the death for that right and my right to feel that way. As I've said, it is a very blood centric cult who likely read what I posted above and took it to mean "hate means love and love means hate", the same way they hide every such exposure. Unfortunately there are a group who can read what is on my screen in realtime right from inside the building (their cult definitely has money and resources). Likewise, outside the building probably outside of the ISP level, there are other eavesdroppers as well who are more likely benevolent as opposed to the internal ones. The internal ones know of the existence of these benevolent people and are trying to trick them into thinking that they are responsible for my efforts, while internally they dump their bad deeds upon me (and often torment me for them afterwards too).

So they are against others finding out what I look like when I say that my love interest is an Oriental lady. They usually try to hide it on someone nicknamed Karma, who is tied up in their religion/ideology that is not my love interest but that this cult use as a garbage bag and a transfer point for the good and bad of those they steal from. Karma is actually a member of the transgender community and as such gets used in that way by this cult, who often subvert such people to that kind of a task. They refer to members of that community quite often as "garbage bags". That person is not my love interest at all (my love interest is physically and emotionally a woman) and that person is definitely not a garbage bag to me at all. Nobody should be used that way regardless of their sexual orientation or gender.

So my love interest is an Oriental lady and this being Canada, I suspect that according to the Charter Of Rights And Freedoms, which relatives of mine and myself have fought to protect at risk to ourselves, states that I and my future spouse should be free from mistreatment or abuse on the basis of my sex, religion or culture and the same applies to my love interest and to any other Canadian citizen and those applying for residency. Likewise, nobody is controlling me at all. That would be like saying that someone is controlling you if they drop a cinder block on your toe to make you "dance". Abusive biomagnetism is like the rubber mallet that Doctors use to test your reflexes. Does that mean a Doctor is controlling your consciousness by tapping your knee to yield a reflex? This cult uses the implication of control (especially in relation to what they feel is superior blood) to justify stealing from other people their accomplishments or making them carry their burdens.

So when I go on my web camera locally, usually this cult are up in arms about it because it prevents them from taking what I do because it associates to any eavesdroppers who can see in near realtime the image of my desktop (a reality of modern eavesdropping which often employs Van Eck phreaking and other means of visual interceptions of desktop imagery). The cult want others to think that I am operating a different computer and possibly are swapping my identity with that of a sex offender, paedophile or even a spousal abuser to steal my activities in helping to get at least two women help in similar situations. Likewise, the same group are likely using such a swapping of identities in order to retain the support of the community to do this illegal eavesdropping which seems more to be connected with a religious tribunal system of which I am not a member because I am not a member of any religious community with such rights and am not a member of any such religion such as Baha'i, Islam or any other religion that has adopted the tribunal system of social punishment. Not to mention that but I also have done nothing that deserves such scrutiny.

Hate is not love and love is not hate.

Brian Joseph Johns